Why Not in Laguna?

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Our guest columnist suggests that Laguna add a gay pride parade to the calendar.

By Cynthia P. Jenkins

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What I really want to see in Laguna is an open-air J. Crew that smells of sandalwood, like any other coastal resident in need of a good cardigan. But, alas, our little town is adamantly anti-chain, save for Starbucks, Subway, Tommy Bahama, Quiksilver, Jack in the Box and KFC. So my second choice would be to host a pride parade to celebrate our LGBT community. Think about it—ever since The Boom closed, it’s like Laguna went back into the closet! Doesn’t anyone care that the only reason I agreed to raise my family here was because ours was the only town in Orange County with one sliver of diversity?

No, we pile kelp fests, “laughing” walks and plein air competitions of that same darned cove onto our city events calendars every year. Well, no offense, but algae is not my color. I laugh enough as it is watching design review board on TV, and I’ll take the real-life ocean view through my Las Brisas margarita any day of the week.

So here’s my proposal: Now that all seven of our Ron Paul supporters have a lot more time on their hands, perhaps they could relinquish their perch on Main Beach for a little Saturday afternoon whoop-de-doo for those residents who love to love the ones they love, regardless of whether or not they sit down to use the toilet.

Wasn’t it Dr. Seuss who said, “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind”? Well, his characters were androgynous, eight-legged, hairy creatures with warts, and look how they were celebrated. Heck, some even went on to become movie stars!7491782980_33161852b6_o

Growing up in San Francisco, I’ll admit that these parades were my family’s favorite day of the year, mostly because we could eat at any restaurant we wanted to without a reservation. But the buzz about the city during the days leading up to the parade—what boa to wear, who was coming—was contagious.

And that’s what we should do. Contact Cher, Rosie … Jessica Simpson’s dad, if he’s still available … to see what day works for them, and then, plan our parade around their schedules. Talk about a local economy boost. Charles’ Wigs, you know what I’m talking about! This parade is about color! Love! Flair!

In all seriousness, Laguna, we should be ashamed. All that hoopla we reserve for a new tile installment on a city bench is admirable, but perhaps we could reserve a little of that enthusiasm toward something that can actually walk and talk. One out of every 10 of us is gay, according to who you talk to, and there are 23,000 of us living in Laguna. I’m no mathlete, but our gay population won’t fit on all of our benches combined.

It’s not just time to face the music, my friends, but to make some—at our first annual LGBT Pride Parade of 2013.

Come out, come one, come all!

I’ll be the one in the cardigan. LBM

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